I don’t read parenting magazines. This is not from lack of trying. I love the magazine medium: shiny paper, pretty colors, a pithy 1,000 words on some topic that both informs and delights. But I discovered early on in my first pregnancy that parenting magazines are built on a simple premise –
Well, the weekly updating hasn’t gone so well. Motherhood is exactly as time-consuming as you think it is. And then I went and quit a perfectly good job to be an at-home contractor and everything that counted as a routine in my life went directly out the window. All of last week was like living in a flooded house. There was earth under my feet but all of my belongings were floating around, unmoored and random. I’m working this week on grabbing the big pieces of my sanity before they float away.
Tavi is 5 months old next week and I currently consider myself a pretty successful mom. I mean, she’s not even a little dented yet. She smiles, she’s learning to laugh. She likes some people; other people she hates. She likes baths and sunshine and hates the cold and poo on her butt. As I said, 100% success so far.
While I find her changes, happening daily, to be fascinating, I’m more surprised and overwhelmed by the changes she’s making in me. (more…)
It is 5:19 am. I’m up because I just finished the 4:30-ish feeding and have decided to stay up as this is the quietest hour I will get all day. Such a nice hour it is.
As I’ve noted in previous posts, most of what I do all day is breastfeed. The babe is a cluster feeder, by which I mean that she starts out the day on a steady “every 3 hrs” schedule, but those meals get closer and closer together as the day progresses until by around 8 pm she’s eating almost constantly. This isn’t an exaggeration. She’ll start nursing at 8pm, finish at 9 and then be back at the breast at 9:30 for another 45 min session. Recently this has reliably put her sound asleep around midnight for 4 plus hours, so there’s an upside…there’s rest at the end of the marathon. Except that the marathon always starts again the next morning. (more…)
“Never alone again.”
That’s what I thought while adjusting to the fact of motherhood, after we’d taken the magic test that confirmed what my body was telling me.
Never alone again.
The lack of solitude isn’t actually what bothers me about that statement. It is the permanence. The never that really gives me pause and has been weighing on my mind for the last week. (more…)